Come to Terms
by sweetb90
Summary: Ethan realizes his love for Kristina at the worst of times.


Ethan's POV

I'm driving as fast as my car will take me. There is a sinking feeling in my gut; it's been there since Sam told me there were bruises on Kristina's arm. I have to get there I have to talk to her. Dad was right I could have handled it better. "Damn it," I scream beating my hands on the steering wheel; how the hell did I get here?

As I walk up to the lake house I see the door is wide open. God Kristina can be so naïve to be the daughter of a mob boss she certainly takes a lot of chances, not to mention it's freezing outside. The closer I get though the more uneasy I become. Then as I walk inside I see the broken lamp, now I'm worried. "Kristina," I call, and then I see her, lying in the floor fragile and broken. "Oh god Kristina" she lashes out screams at me to stop hurting her, now I feel sick, now I know who did this. "it's gonna be ok baby, tell me what happened," I plead with her and pull her up into my arms, when I move her hair back I see the damage, the toll her love for this bastard has taken on her. "Okay baby, okay it's gonna be ok. I'm going to get you some help," I tell her reassuring her. I scoop her up, she is so light, God I can only imagine the fight her tiny body tried to put up and couldn't.

I have her in my car now and again my car won't go as fast as I want it to, it moans in protest. We finally arrive at the hospital and I pick her up and carry her in, "we need some help over here," I choke. Help, yeah some help I was, if I hadn't turned her away hadn't met her maybe he wouldn't have hurt her. My walls are starting to crumble as the doctors and nurses quickly descend, asking me all sorts of questions, questions I don't know the answer to, and then one nurse finally says it finally asks, "is there any chance she was raped," I almost loose it, they almost have two patients on their hands because I no longer think my knees are going to hold me. When I shrug in uncertainty they call for a rape kit blood panels and then for Patrick this scares me because if they call for him that means they think something is wrong with her brain. "Mr. Lovett, you'll have to wait out here," one nurse says to me as they try to wheel her away, but I place my hand on the railing of the bed, "no," I state firmly. The nurse starts to protest, but when she looks at me she sees something she doesn't want to argue with and nods that it's ok.

I stay with her, I stay with her through Patrick's exam, I stay with her standing in the corner trying miserably to hold on to the last bit of composer I have. Finally her parents arrive and I am relieved I can excuse myself now before I completely collapse. As I head out Lucky catches me questioning me about what happened, and I realize he thinks I might have done, God he doesn't know me at all does he? "Hold on a second it's an investigation, I'm gonna need to get an official statement," Lucky tries to persuade me to stay. "Yeah well, you know where to find me if you need me," I tell him and practically run to my car.

When I get to the Haunted Star, the dam breaks. This was the last place I saw her when she was her, I collapse on the old carpeted steps, the ones tainted with the stench of cigar smoke and too much alcohol, and I cry. I hate that this is the moment I realize, the moment I come to terms with my love for Kristina Davis.

I wake up the next morning on my couch, not entirely sure how I got home. I move to stretch and my body protests in its hangover, geez what and how much did I have to drink last night? I look to the floor next to the couch and there is my glass, "well that's not a good sign," I think to myself. I slowly lift my body to a sitting position trying in vain to avoid the dizzy spells as my head catches up with my body. It is now I realize the sun is coming through the window, geez could that be brighter. I scan my apartment while seated on the couch and find the two empty bottles of whiskey and the half bottle of scotch. Jesus Christ, what was I thinking, and then it hits me, the punch to the gut, Kristina. I sit forward and leaning my head in my hands and rub my hands over my tired puffy eyes, I haven't cried like that since my parents died. I know I have to see her but I can't face her the way I am. I am supposed to be her rock, her protector, and well right now her protector-knight in shining armor let his guard down fell in love and is hung over from being shit-faced the night before. I sigh and my head pounds but I rise to my feet, to go wash off the anguish.

The shower didn't help much but at least I don't reek of alcohol anymore. I've walked into General Hospital and head for Kristina's room. As soon as I get near the door Sonny comes flying out, "you son of a bitch, "he screams, "I'll kill you. Get the hell out the hell out of this hospital and if you're smart the hell out of Port Charles." What the hell is he talking about I think to myself. "Listen mate I know you don't like me but I brought Kristina here if that doesn't prove to you I care…" but he cuts me off, "yeah, yeah you care alright you brought her to the hospital after you put her here you sick bastard," he yells and lunges for me but Jason comes out of Kristina's room and grabs him, "Sonny this isn't the time, you're daughter needs you, I'll handle him," Jason says and Sonny shakes him off still giving me a death glare as he walks inside Kristina's room. "Jason, man what is Sonny talking about," I ask him truly puzzled. "You need to get out of here and not come back, if I see you around Kristina again rest assured I'll kill you myself," he says and walks away. I am so confused so utterly shocked, why do they think I did this, no they've got it all wrong I _saved_ her I **love** her.

I turn to leave the hospital and there stands Lucky and Dante, "Ethan, we're gonna need you to come with us, you're under arrest for the assault of Kristina Davis," Lucky whispers looking at me with that "I never would have thought you were capable of this look." My heart sinks, "what?! like hell I will I didn't do this Lucky I found her," I plead with him and Dante glaring at me now opens his mouth, "Kristina isn't afraid of you anymore Ethan. She's told us everything now you can come willingly or I will gladly take you by force," Dante growls. Lucky puts his hand up in front of him to calm him and Lucky looks at me again pleading with me to not make this any harder than it is. My head is spinning, no she couldn't have there's no way she said it was me. She's scared she knows I can take it and she's scared. This is my moment do I love her or not? I love her, so I take a breath and walk out with my brother and Dante. If this is what she needs from me then this is what I'll do, I'll be the villain for her.

Kristina's POV

I can't say I remember much about that night. After a while you check out of your body; I guess it's your mind's way of protecting you: physically from the pain as flesh contacts flesh in the most animalistic way, mentally from the self-hatred the fact that you feel like a complete fool. That you trusted that last "I'm sorry," that the last "baby please forgive me it won't happen again I swear," worked and you let that liar in only to wind up beaten down again. I don't remember much I remember lying there in what should have been mind-numbing pain, pain that should have had me screaming and thrashing on the floor yet I lied there silent. I remember hearing footsteps and holding my breath so steady fearing that he had returned and then hearing that angelic voice asking me what happened. I must be completely out of it because there is no way Ethan is carrying me right now.

When I finally come to Patrick is shining a light in my eyes telling me to follow his finger. The entire right side of my body feels like it has been shattered and I realize that my eye is swollen shut. I go to reach my hand to my face slightly shakily, wanting to assess the damage, but my mom stops me, grabbing me hand ever so slightly and shakes her head, "no sweetie." I start to cry and my mom reaches forward and pulls me into a hug rocking me back and forth. By now my dad, Jason, Lucky, Dante, and Sam have all flooded into the room from the hall way. Dante starts, "Kristina sweetheart we need to ask you a few questions." I nod my head and they descend. Lucky adds, "Kristina do you remember anything about your attack? Is there anyone in particular we need to look at?" Before I can answer my dad interjects, "Lucky seriously, you know that your bum of a brother has been hanging around Kristina after I've told him time and time again to back off." "Yeah," Sam adds, "I saw Kristina earlier yesterday night she had bruises on her arm she told me Ethan did it." "That bastard put his hands on you," my dad screams looking straight at me. I lay there in total shock I haven't even opened my mouth and they've already descended on Ethan like vultures. I feel so overwhelmed, if I tell the truth they will wonder why Kiefer snapped and then I'll have to explain that this wasn't anything extraordinary in our relationship and I would forever be looked at as the weakling who let a man walk all over her. However, if I lie I'll lose the only person who ever truly cared about me for me and not my names-sake. I stare blankly at them and the last forty-eight hours slams into me like a freight train and I burst into tears, "you don't understand," I plead with all of them through gasps, "I over stepped my bounds Ethan just got mad. He had every right to be upset with me, I acted like I child," I sob and my mom grabs me again. That was all it took, I had lit the fuse now I had to watch him burn and that hurts more than my physical wounds

Kristina's POV (about 2 weeks after attack)

I was in the hospital just long enough to want to go home. When I was released I didn't want to go home I didn't think I could face the lake house just yet apparently Sam understood that before I said it because she asked if I wanted to come stay with her.

Ethan is out of jail, Luke posted bail for him. I remember hearing my dad screaming in the hallway outside my hospital room about Luke and his loyalty and how could he do this. Kiefer had sent me flowers, luckily they came when no one was around because I just about lost it I had a full blown panic attack which sent every alarm on every machine connected to me buzzing and Elizabeth running into my room, she quickly gave me something for it and then sat with me till I calmed down. As I began to doze though I heard her get up to leave and barely opened my eyes and saw her reading the card on the flowers, I could see in her eyes she knew the truth.

Staying with Sam has been fun, but I have to go home, Kiefer has been texting me none stop begging me to forgive him begging me to come see him. I know I have to go home and face the history face the scene of that night before I can ever face him and have the strength to move forward. "Sam, I'm gonna head on home today," I say as I come out of her guest bedroom bags in hands. She looks up from the case she is working on slightly surprised slightly worried, "ok," she starts, "let me grab my keys and we'll head on over." "No," I say a little too forcefully, "I mean I need to face it by myself you know?" she nodded that she understood and gave me a hug goodbye.

I walk up to my oh so familiar front door that feels so foreign now. As I pull out my keys my hands start to shake. The flashbacks of him knocking on the door him calling me a bitch telling me how I embarrassed him, as I walk in the door I remember begging and pleading with him before I hit the chair, and then it was a struggle. The struggle between Kiefer and me as I try to get away, the struggle inside myself between believing this is all a nightmare and facing the reality. Before for I know it I'm gasping for air sobbing in the door way, hands on my knees struggling with all of this. I slowly regain my composure and reach for my phone in my pocket I know this isn't a good idea, there's a thousand reasons why I shouldn't call him but I can't stop myself. When it goes to voicemail I'm not surprised, "hey it's me," I whisper clearly shaken, "look I know I really messed up and you probably never want to talk to me but if you get this and can stand to see me, please meet me at the docks." With that done I head to the docks, hoping he'll show up.

Ethan's POV

I'm sitting at the Haunted Star having a late afternoon drink, something I've grown accustomed to recently since Kristina hasn't been around. I know Luke is currently badgering me about being bad for business as gloom doom and despair as I am, "you know dodge if I know you were gonna be this moody I would have left your butt in jail," I faintly hear him say, but then my phone rings I come back to reality realizing who it is and am not sure what to do. Luke looks at the phone and then me, "you gonna get that?" he asks, I look down at my glass and finish it off in one last gulp, "I take that as a no," he says as he is drying glasses behind the bar. "you know dodge, I know that bailing you out also came with a restraining order, and if I can remind you I am currently on the outs with one of my closest friends in this crappy town, but that is beside the point, look you want to see the girl I'm not going to tell anyone where you went," with that he walks off. I stare at my phone and see that I have a voicemail, I pick up my phone and press talk, "hey it's me," I hear, "look I know I really messed up and you probably never want to talk to me but if you get this and can stand to see me, please meet me at the docks," the message clicks off, and my heartaches how could she think I couldn't stand to see her? I sigh and shake my head, as I get up I grab my coat and head out the door.

I hit the steps of the docks and my heart skips a beat: there she is her hair is down blowing slightly in the breeze, she has it all swooped to one shoulder, her right shoulder and she has on a hat she rarely wears hats so I know what she is doing at it gives me that sinking feeling in my stomach again. I approach her and she slightly jumps, "sorry love…I didn't mean to scare you," I say. "it's fine," she barely squeaks she's always been meek but now, now she just seems broken it is all I can do not to pull her into my arms and tell her I love her tell her I am so sorry I didn't admit it sooner that maybe if I had I could have spared her, but I stop when she starts to speak, "thanks for coming. I know you probably don't have much interest in talking to me," she says looking at her hands. "Kristina," I'm getting exasperated now, "was I hurt yes but Kristina I'm not him," I clinch my fists thinking about him, "I'm not going to abandon you, I…" I take a deep breath, "I love you." She looks at me stunned wide eyed; I rub my hands through my hair and turn to face her, "look we have some stuff to talk about. How about you can come with me to my apartment, it's freezing out here and frankly there is a restraining order against me and I really don't want your dad to kill me before I get a chance to explain myself." She slightly chuckles at my plea and nods "okay," I state with a smile and stand offering her my hand. She takes it and we walk off.

The second we enter my apartment it is like we are complete strangers we've gone form best friends with no awkward silences to standing in the middle of my living room unsure whether we should sit or run for the hills. I finally decide I have to break the silence if there is any hope of salvaging this conversation, "so have a seat, do you want something to drink?" "No that's ok Ethan," she says quietly tucking her loose hair behind her ear causing my breath to catch in my throat. I haven't seen her face since that night and suddenly I'm overcome, I have to see her I need to see her. I move towards her slowly and move my hand towards the brim of her hat to pull it off, she raises her arm to counter my action, "no, stop," she pleads and I hear the pain in her voice, "Kristina please… baby I want to see you all of you not the shadows and what you want the world to see I want to see what you have hidden, please don't be afraid of that," I state, and reach my hand to her hat again but this time she ducks under me and turns around, "Ethan this isn't something you need to see it won't prove you're strong and adoring it'll just prove that you've seen me be this hideous weak shell of a person," she whispers and I can her the tears in her voice. I sigh and walk up behind her, "Kristina, sweetheart come with me," and with that I lead her by the shoulders into my bathroom and turn on the lights. Standing behind her I again reach for her hat and this time she relents, "now Kristina next time you look in the mirror," I say as I take off her hat and throw it on the floor beside us, "or for that matter whenever you start to think you're weak, or anything negative about yourself remember this," I pull her hair out of its side swept ponytail meant to hide her face, and if that wasn't enough she has on a heavy layer of concealer as well, I reach my arms around her and grab a wash rag and turn on the water making getting it just wet enough with warm water, I then bring one hand to her face and place my other arm on the base of the sink in front of her cocooning myself around her. "you are beautiful," I say as I wipe the wash rag across her eye, "you are sweet and protective of all those around you," I ring the wash rag out and head back to her face, "you are funny and through everything you've been through you've never lost your spirit," I put the wash rag down, "look up Kristina," I whisper and wait till her eyes meet mine in the mirror, "you are a fighter Kristina and most importantly the girl I fell in I love with," I say and wrap my arms around her shoulders and rest my head her left shoulder. This is the most intimate moment I've ever shared with anyone and I cannot describe how at how I feel with Kristina in my arms. I feel her lean back against my chest, "I love you too, thank you Ethan," she whispers to me, and wraps her arms around mine and we hold on as time stands still.

Kristina's POV

I can't believe Ethan just said he loves me and now he wants to explain it obviously I got my hopes up he means he loves me as a little sister I chuckle as I stand to walk with him to his place. When we get there everything changes, he seems nervous uneasy which in turn is making me nervous and uneasy and things have become incredibly awkward between us you could cut the tension with a knife. "So umm, have a seat, do you want something to drink?" he asks and I reply that I'm fine. Suddenly out of the blue he moves toward me and tries to take off my hat, "no, stop," I beg him, why on earth would he want to see my face? I think we're done with this ridiculous charade but instead he replies, "Kristina please… baby I want to see you all of you not the shadows and what you want the world to see I want to see what you have hidden, please don't be afraid of that." Now I am really confused and even more uneasy so as he reaches up again I duck under and turn my back on him and try to explain, "Ethan this isn't something you need to see it won't prove you're strong and adoring it'll just prove that you've seen me be this hideous weak shell of a person." I hear him sigh and feel his body heat against me as he gets closer, "Kristina, sweetheart come with me," he says and suddenly he's leading me through his apartment and before I know it we are in his bathroom and I am terrified as to what might happen next. Standing behind me, he again reaches for my hat and this time I relents, "now Kristina next time you look in the mirror," he says as he takes off my hat and throws it on the floor beside us, "or for that matter whenever you start to think you're weak, or anything negative about yourself remember this," he pulls my hair out of its side swept ponytail meant to hide my face, and by now my heart is pounding in my chest, "don't wake up best dream ever," I think to myself. He reaches his arms around me and grabs a wash rag and it is here when I realize I'm not dreaming which is even more terrifying, but I'm so overwhelmed currently by this strong tender man who smells so good it is making me weak in the knees. He then brings one hand to my face and places his other arm on the base of the sink in front of me cocooning himself around me. "you are beautiful," he says as he wipes the wash rag across my eye, "you are sweet and protective of all those around you," he rings the wash rag out and heads back to my face, "you are funny and through everything you've been through you've never lost your spirit," he puts the wash rag down, "look up Kristina," he whispers and waits till my eyes meet his in the mirror, "you are a fighter Kristina and most importantly the girl I fell in I love with," he says and wrap his arms around my shoulders and rests his head on my left shoulder. He loves me, not like a little sister, and definitely not like Kiefer; this isn't love with strings this is love that gives in those times you have nothing left in your soul. Love that makes you feel that giddy silly because you never knew this level of happiness existed. I lean back against his chest feeling like myself for the first time in a long time something else I never realized love was supposed to help you feel. I whisper, "I love you too, thank you Ethan," and wrap my arms around his holding on as time stands still.


End file.
